popo1984
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Posts: 8
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« on: May 16, 2011, 10:49:39 AM » |
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Hi all. First i would like to say that reading outher responses on this site has been a great help in calming me down and i appreciate all who post and reply.
I am a 26 yr old father of a week old baby today. During my wifes pregnancy we were both excited and could not wait to see our baby boy when he came. Now our baby is here and my wife is still extatic and happy. I on the other hand am happy and it make me feel great to hold him and everything. My problem is that ever since we came home from the hospital i have suffered from anxiety, nerviousness, upset stomach, nausea, diarhea, and erectile disfunction with no sex drive.
I have no understanding what has caused my anxiety and nervousness and have been put on buspar and valium. Do you guys think that this could be related to my child. I can say that i do feel better at night when my wife mostly takes care of the baby because I sleep through the night for work the next day. but the anxiety and nerviousness immediatly returns in the morning when i awake. I have been walking a few laps around the park near my house when i feel absolutly overcome by my anxiety or when i feel an attack coming on and it does help me in getting my mind relaxed and back on track.
Does this sound like PPD due to our new child or am i just suffering from anxiety. I got blood work done today and my thyroid is being checked because thyroid issues run in my family so i am actually hoping that i have some type of infection or thyroid issue so that this can be treated.
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popo1984
Newbie
Posts: 8
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« Reply #1 on: May 19, 2011, 06:20:28 AM » |
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No word back from my blood test. the anxiety seems to be settling. but there are times when it seems to just jump up on me and i have to take a valium quick
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NewDadInNJ
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Posts: 5
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« Reply #2 on: May 23, 2011, 07:18:15 PM » |
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Firstly, Congratulations on your Son! (I'm 26 as well, and have a 5-month old Daughter). Being a new dad will bring a huge variety of emotions, at all different times.
I'm far from knowledgeable about this, but it's a good bet that some of your anxiety may be due to your newborn. This is a life-changing event, so your body is bound to have some unfamiliar reactions.
Sorry I cannot be of true help, but I wanted to reply and give some reassurance. Also keep in mind that the next few months are going to be rough. Lack of sleep, and having a newborn who is completely dependent on you is very tiring, but it does get easier and things will fall back into a manageable state.
Good Luck!
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popo1984
Newbie
Posts: 8
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« Reply #3 on: May 24, 2011, 06:04:06 AM » |
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Thanks. My anxiety does seem to have gotten better but I am taking Buspar so that may be why. I really do appreciate the response though.
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Mouce
Newbie
Posts: 14
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« Reply #4 on: May 30, 2011, 06:52:38 PM » |
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popo,
Having a newborn around, will make any pre-existing anxiety worse. I was diagnosed with acute anxiety 3 years ago, my son was born two weeks ago, and I completely fell apart. I had been doing 'okay' up until then.
The stress of not knowing how everything will work out, but having the pressure of knowing that it has to, can be crippling.
Even though you're lucky enough to be sleeping during the night, your mind still registers all the squeaks and squeals, and you react hormonally. The sound of a child crying has been shown to stimulate a significant hormone response in people, making them much more alert and ready to respond.
The most important thing you can be doing is to talk to your wife about all this, AND...one close friend. You need to talk, it's hard, it's awkward, and for a lot of guys it's embarrassing...but it's the only way that anything will get easier.
Let us know how you're going.
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popo1984
Newbie
Posts: 8
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« Reply #5 on: May 31, 2011, 06:31:47 AM » |
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Well just an update. The anxiety during the day seems to be settled while i am at work. i still am taking buspar at 15 mg 3x daily. I have not taken the valium in two weeks. I have been sleeping well at night but i have put some ear plugs in until last friday i used them every night. I have also talked with my Best friend about my problem just to vent and it does help to just get it out. I still dont really talk about it to my wife because i dont want her to worry and because it has not been so bad lately.
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Mouce
Newbie
Posts: 14
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« Reply #6 on: May 31, 2011, 05:55:36 PM » |
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Great news that the anxiety is a bit better behaved while you're at work. Also wonderful news that you haven't needed the valium recently.
I'm jealous that you can sleep through the night, that must be a relief. I can't remember the last time I managed that.
I know you say you don't want your wife to worry, but if she's anything like mine, she'll have picked up on something being wrong, and be all the more worried because you haven't mentioned it to her. It's important that she understand what's going on, and how you're feeling and what you're thinking, so that you two can support each other better.
If you wake up having and anxiety attack in the middle of the night, you're not going to be able to explain it to her properly then, and she won't be able to help as well as if she already knows what's causing it.
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popo1984
Newbie
Posts: 8
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« Reply #7 on: June 01, 2011, 02:03:00 PM » |
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You are right about letting my wife know but she is very young and very sensitive. Im gonna stay strong as long as i can before i let her know. but i have improved greatly so Im just gonna go with it for now
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Mouce
Newbie
Posts: 14
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« Reply #8 on: June 02, 2011, 04:01:44 AM » |
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Judging by your username, you and I were born in the same year. My wife, born in '83 has had her run-ins with mental health issues, having recovered from an eating disorder as well as still recovering from depression. And although my initial thought was that I should try and keep all my troubles to myself to protect her, it actually worked the other way.
She had noticed something was wrong with me, but my continual insistence that everything was 'okay' just confused the situation. She ended up feeling helpless and lost because she could see me struggling with something, but wasn't sure what it was.
When I finally spoke up she was relieved, her mood improved, she was still concerned about me, but because she understood my thoughts and feelings and fears, she was better able to help me. Which in turn allows me to support her better and help out more with the little one.
If you can manage to get through all this without your wife picking up that something is wrong then you're one tough cookie. Just make sure that there is someone in your life (friend, parent, pet) that you can and do talk to about this stuff...keeping it on the inside just makes it build up. Hey...I talk to my dog about it. I even talk to my 3 week old son about it...he doesn't understand...but it helps me.
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popo1984
Newbie
Posts: 8
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« Reply #9 on: June 02, 2011, 09:04:52 AM » |
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Thanks for the reassurance. I do speak with my mother about it and she is very reassurring as well
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Mouce
Newbie
Posts: 14
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« Reply #10 on: June 03, 2011, 05:51:46 PM » |
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Keep it up then. And keep us up to date with how you're going. Sounds like you've got a pretty good support base around you, make use of that.
Mothers can be surprisingly good with things like this. Fathers too, if you're lucky enough to have one who 'understands' mental health issues.
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