New dad here

[Ninjabot18]

Hello,
I've been a guest for several days now and it's really good to see a site like this. I just recently had a baby a handsome baby boy who turned 4 weeks yesterday. I love him to death but taking care of him has been a challenge and has really effected me emotionally.    I never expected it to be this hard and tought that i would just figure things out and be ok with things. At two weeks I started getting depressed and started not sleeping well. I felt guilty about feeling this way and was tough on myself especially since I know my wife needs me mentally to keep it together for her as well, since she has her moments too.Luckily my wife has been very understanding and a solid support system.

His cries are anxiety provoking at times and gets my nerves on edge. I know he's just a baby and that is the only way he can commmunicate but still the cries are a constant sound in my head at times.
My sleep patterns are super erratic now..I currently am on anti van to help me get some rest but it still doesn't knock me out. I also began seeing a therapist and also started taking zoloft To hopefully get me stable before I return to work in. June.

Every body tells me that it's going to get better but my wife and I feel like we are in the trenches at time and time is standing still. What makes it especially hard is that we don't have any family nearby to help us nor give us a boost. At times I feel hopeless..but there are definitely times where I am more positive...I guess my wife have our good days and bad days...

Anyway..I wanted to ask you..at what point did things start turning around and getting better?

Thanks

[Rodders]

Hello Ninjabot,

Congratulations fistly 

It does get better, let me just say that first.
I was in a similar situation and thought I'd made a massive mistake and my life was over, would end up getting a divorce and never seeing my kid again. Crying all the time, struggling at work, not sleeping, mind thinking over stupid things constantly and as you are, being tough on myself for being like this.
Again, like your wife, mine was very supportive which was great. It took me a week to tell her, but the fact I just burst into tears as I held it in for so long, I couldnt hide it anyway.
I was put on some vallium to start with to help me sleep, but that only helped to get to sleep. I would still wake up a few hours later. I was then put on some anti anxiety which kind of helped, but not a lot. Finally I was put on anti depressants and after 2 weeks was getting right back on track. I was refered for therapy too, but I have still not heard anything from them, though now I dont feel I need it.
Our little one is now 2.5 months and things are really good now. She is smiling and cooing back to us and its great. I still have a few moments when I think bad things, but as my head is sorted now, I can process these things and move on easily.

Hang in there, 'everybody is right' it will get better!!

[Ninjabot18]

Thanks for the reply and your input..things have actually looking better..my mood is really dependent on hiow much sleep i get..hopefully I stabilize soon.

Thanks again for your reasponse

[Rodders]

Yes, lack of sleep has a major impact on you.
Our little girl is sleeping through pretty well now and we are getting 6-8 hours of sleep a night, uninterupted.
Im so good now they are going to start taking me off the AD.

Things will get better. Keep updating us.

[NewDadInNJ]

I'll echo what others have said already:

Our Daughter just passed the 5-month mark, and it does get a lot better.    Given a healthy baby (and I do hope your Son is healthy) he will start to go for longer stretches of sleep, and occasionally you will get 5-6 hours.   That will become more regular, and I am told that the cereal helps extend their sleep as well. 

What's frustrating is the lack of consistent sleep, and I'm sorry to say that you probably won't have that luxury for a while yet.   Our Daughter has gas on occasion, and likes to grunt and groan around 2am, needing some reassurance (for a few minutes) that we are there for her.

I know what you mean about the cries being "anxiety provoking", I feel the exact same way...

[Download]

Thanks for the helpful information

[JumheellBep]

none

[Cinfors]

It is very a pity to me, that I can help nothing to you. But it is assured, that you will find the correct decision.

[edgennaGlycle]

Happy New Year!!!!!