when does this anxiety and low mood stop????

[ozdad]

i have ben following this site for some time now and much of what is posted has been great for me..

im in Australia, Melbourne and i have had a horrible time in the last 12 weeks. My daughter was born 12 weeks ago and i love her to death! but my feelings of sadness, being overwhelmed and anxiety have plagued me terribly. my wife has been handleing the new adjustment with grace and poise and loves the experience and glides through with a smile - THANK GOD!!

the first 2 weeks after her birth where fine. i returned to work after the 2 weeks and that day my negtive emotions began. i felt severe anxiety and a general feeling of being overwhelmed and low. i hate it!!!! ive seen my GP and he has prescribed a AD - Zoloft, which has taken the edge of but is far from alliviateing the feelings.

ive also been seeing a psychologist who has found threads of these feelings linking to some things that happened with my own dad in the past - long story short, my dad suffers from Multiple Sclerosis and as if that wasnt bad enough suffered a prolapsed disc in his spine leading to him becoming a quadraplegic. Nonetheless, as a family we worked through this hard time and now its been 10 years and dad is in good spirits and we all cope.

i sometimes think that these horrible low feelings have left me but there's always that lingering knowledge in my head that i will have a relapse. no doubt, eventually thats what happens. i know i have nothing to worry about as my wife and child are in perfect health and my child is not difficult at all! so why do i feel so crap?? why cant i get over this horrible feeling(s)? when will this end? i must say that YES it has become better over the last few weeks especially, but its far  from the way i want it to be!

thanks guys

[rssooner]

ozdad,

First...congrats on your daughter!!

You are following in my footsteps.  I started feeling the same way as you did at about the 8 day mark of my son's birth so my point is that you are not alone.  My wife was the rock during this period and I thank God for that too.  You have made some great strides by seeing a doctor and getting help.  You asked a very valid question...what will happen if you relapse?  In my opinion I feel that it's ok to relapse some.  I have felt depressed, sad, anxious etc. many times since I have been a father (my son just turned 2 on June 2).  I think it's more normal than not to have ups and downs.  The big difference when they happen now is that I am aware of them as they surface.  I know that I need to turn that negativity around.  I think when it first happened I was so shocked and disappointed that it occured that that made it much harder for me to turn it around.  In fact, I couldn't do it on my own and needed help.  We are human and will make mistakes as father's, husbands, friends, etc.  We should not put so much pressure on ourselves to be "perfect".  We will only be disappointed when we are not.  Just anticipate when you might be hitting a stressful, anxious time in your life and think it through and attack it head on versus it sneaking up on us like it did originally.

I hope that helps.

rssooner

[m's dad]

Hello Everyone,

 I have not posted anything for quite sometime.  I have found myself coming back to this site though because I am going through what I consider a low point.  I am trying to hit it head on but it takes a lot of work and attention.  Attention that I feel selfish about because I feel that I am taking it away from my wife and son.  My son is about 17 months now and things had been great up till about 2 weeks ago.  I decided to give up nicotine and it is kicking my a@#.  Not only am I fighting the nicotine cravings but it has brought back the anxiety that I felt after my son was born.  I am trying to cope and do all the things that I know are right to help me through this time.  I am sure that it will ease up with time.  To all you fathers out there that have new borns and are struggling hang in there.  It does get easier and they become so much fun.  I know that I can and will get through this but just felt that expressing some of my feelings on here would help.  Thanks for letting me ramble.  Have a good day everyone and trust in yourselves and partners and know that it will get better.  God Bless each of you.

[rssooner]

m's dad,

I gave up dipping about a year ago.  It was incredibly hard so I know how you feel.  I don't know how long you have been "clean" but after about 3 weeks it got much easier but I was cranky during that time.  Don't get me wrong...i still crave it on certain occasions (like after a couple of cold beers  )

Hang in there.  I chewed and still chew the crap out of gum when I need to so that may help.  I would suggest also physical activity and keeping yourself healthy during this time too.  When you work out, it releases the natural chemicals in our brain that are anti-depressants and that really helped me too.

I hope this helps.

Good Luck!

rssooner